Amateur Baker

Friday, December 19, 2008

Think an office looks like this???

Or this??

If you're still being DELUSIONAL about the office scenes, then SNAP THE FOXTROT OUT OF IT!!!
If there's anything an office looks like, it'll be THESE!!!!

YES!!! An office is a WARZONE!! A BATTLEFIELD!! A FRONTLINE!! It's a whole new world out there!! It's even SCARIER than your classrooms!! The world of Office Politics is COMPLEX & MIND-BOGGLING, and after so many months in the office world, I've also come to learn a thing or few about surviving in the office world...

To survive out there....The first and foremost prerequisite that one must have is Emotional Quotient, more commonly known as EQ.

EQ, as defined by Wikipedia, describes a self-perceived ability to identify, access, and manage the emotions of oneselft's, of others, and of groups. EQ is crucial in the office world as it is an important tool for the establishment of good working relationship between co-workers and your superiors. As the saying goes 'No Man Is An Island'. You can't expect to fend yourself alone in that place full of wolf's in a sheep's clothing. Hence, HELP IS CARDINAL, ESSENTIAL & PIVOTAL!! For people who are blessed with a high EQ, I guess that there's no problem in clicking with your colleagues... But for people like me, who aren't born with a particularly high EQ....You would have to try, no matter how hard it is.

Things maybe be JARRING AT FIRST

But the fruits of one's labour is forever the sweetest and the most worthwhile :))

But if you never even attempt to try to SUCK UP...err....I mean to create an amiable working relationship and choose to isolate yourself....this might just happen to you

So, would you rather be the ONE on the right, or the ONES on the left?? Take your pick!

Secondly, NEVER BE GULLIBLE! NEVER, and I do mean NEVER EVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER!!

Aww....what a delightful sight!

But who knows......maybe....

It's NEVER FUN being a victim of backstabbing....

Imagine one day walking into the office and suddenly everyone starts giving you that weird look and start shunning you. Who knows, the source might just be your the person you're closest to. I know it's almost impossible not to be a victim of backstabbing, cause no matter what type of person you are, someone's bound to DETEST & DISLIKE YOU! But if you're lucky, the person who shares an animosity for you just might have that integrity not to do any backstabbing, of course the keyword here is 'LUCKY', which I guess many of us here aren't...SADLY... :(

However, if you do find out the originator of all the backstabbing....of course, it's time to STRIKE BACK!!!

It's NEVER WISE to engage in a direct conflict, cause the culprit could just jolly deny everything!
Hence, it's the time when you get to display your FORMIDABLE ELOQUENCE!!
I'm sure most of you have heard of 'News Spread Like Wildfire'

Sooner or later, things will become like this....

If you still have a conscience, you'll probably stop when the tide starts to turn around....
But if it's me....I WON'T LET IT GO SO EASILY!!!

I WILL MAKE SURE THAT THE CULPRIT COMPLETELY LOSES HIS/HER STANDING IN THE WORKPLACE!!

Thirdly, ARROWS!!!

When you first enter your workplace, due to the fact that you're a greenhorn, and more importantly, you're POWERLESS. Events like the following will happen VERY OFTEN..

And to make things worse, there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!! SO BE STRONG PEOPLE!!!

As time progresses and equipped with a little amount of experiences, you'll soon be equipped with the most basic of all office weapon...

But of course, weapons like these are more or less useless as it has little velocity and highly inaccurate. Thus, it is not uncommon that you miss 11 times out of 10 times. But with practice makes perfect. You'll sooner or later hit with astonishing accuracy. However, the fact that your weapon would have LITTLE OR NO effect on the victim still stands. What you lack...

is POWER!!!

As you make your way up the political ladder, you'll find yourself naturally be armed with more advanced weapons...

And little by little....

Cool eh??? Though much energy is still needed to shoot the arrow and ensure a clean shot.. :(

Sooner or later, when you possess enough power...you shall be armed with the PENULTIMATE WEAPON the whole of the office world has ever witness!

THE CROSSBOW!!!

With just one simple click of the trigger... You hardly miss, the victim hardly survives plus best of all, it's ALMOST EFFORTLESS!! Quick & Easy! :)

But coming back to reality, no matter how powerful you get...your weapons will NEVER EVER be comparable to what the highest authority possess.....

WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION.... It does not only target one, but THE THOUSANDS!! Once, this weapon has been unleash, armed yourself with as many arrows/bolts as possible!!

Fourthly...DON'T EVER TRY TO ATTEMPT TO GO AGAINST A SUPER POWER!!

And by super power, I don't mean your boss, but someone who's highly influential who's together in the same league as you...It's never wise to pit yourself against someone who's influential....All you'll be fighting is just a losing battle as you'll soon find yourself an outcast.

Hence, it's best to keep quiet no matter how unreasonable it is...

Unless, you're CONFIDENT of bringing down the super power, then I propose you go ALL THE WAY and establish yourself as the next superpower...For tips on how to bring down on super power, refer to 'Meangirls'!! :D

Lastly, and this is the thing which I despises most about Office Politics....

BOOT-LICKING!!!!! ARGH!!!!

And what's the consequences of boot-licking??

Boot-licking is a short term measure to hide one's incompetence and to make up for his/her low popularity among his/her peers. However, the effect of boot-licking is often short lived as one's incompetence will show sooner or later.... Thus, things will soon go out of hand...

Hence, I'll only recommend bootlicking as the most desperate measure :D

Hmmm...this are the few things that I've learnt about Office Politics...Maybe there's more to it, but I'll learn as time goes by :) Hope that I'll survive the remaining 11 months unscathed.. wish me luck :D

|Shi Hao| 7:22 PM|

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