Change of song. I know it's a bit abrupt but then I just have to do it. If you look closely enough, the content of the current and the previous songs are an exact opposite of each other. I can absolutely relate to the protagonist of song right now, it's just like a reflection of my emotions right now :(

If I had just one tear
Running down your cheek
Maybe I could cope
Maybe I'd get some sleep
If I had just one moment at your exspense
Maybe all my misery
Would be well spent...yeaaaa

Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that your feeling a little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

If your love could be caged, honey, I would hold the key
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you'd hunt and those lies
They'd be all you'd ever find
And that'd be all you'd have to know
For me to be fine

And you'd cry a little
Die just a little
And baby I would feel just a little less pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

Give it up baby
I hear your goodbye
Nothin's gonna save me
I see it in your eyes
Some kind of heartache
Darlin give it a try
I don't want pity
I just want what is mine

Yeah.. Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

Cry just a little for me
Could you cry just a little for me?

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I just got slammed back into reality today. All along I was just living in my own pathetic fantasy, thinking that things were going fine. Yeah, I was warned, and I was also kind of prepared. But then again, being the idealist and pessimist, the news just came like an unexpected hurricane which unleashed its fury mercilessly on me. I felt myself plunging right from the heavens into a bottomless abyss when the bad news was confirmed.

I finally felt the pain and agony, I finally know why there were so many rounds of 21 days. It's like someone just grabbed hold of your heart and smashed it against a heated metal plate. After all the effort that was put into it, things turned out like this. Honestly, have I done anything wrong? Maybe it was divine retribution. If that's the explanation, I might be able to accept it, but it should come from anyone but you. As if what's done isn't bad enough. Worst of all, I was forced to see things as not being a really big deal. Like seriously, what the heck is the meaning of this?

A lot of thoughts were going through my mind when I confirmed the news. What should I do? I should just punch you. No, walk away? Wait, I can't do it. Help me, somebody. Alright, I should just give you one great big punch before walking away. Yeah, that's the plan. But being the emotional loser that I am. I just couldn't execute my plans when I saw you. Something just came over me. I seriously couldn't do it. I couldn't punch, let alone walk away... I feel like a great big loser, why am I always on the losing edge? Why can't I be stronger? I've been hurt, hurting you is my prerogative. From that moment, I realized that I was trapped, in a web of emotion which I could not get out of.

Now all I can hope is that I can get out of the blues soon. I need to self sooth for the first time in my life. Can't turn to anyone else this time. It's just me, myself and I. I just have to convince Shi Hao to trust you, to trust himself and to have faith in the institution between you both. But then again, I gotta leave some space for buffering, I don't want to go through the same intensity of pain again.

I'm really feeling shitty right now, but not confused or anything. I know where I'm heading, absolutely no doubts in that. I just need some time to get over it. But oh well. I'm Shi Hao, I will get over it soon enough, and I will smile, like I always do. Even if it's a forced smile, I won't let this drag me down. I must have faith in myself. *sniffs* (Okay, I'm lying to myself, but I know I'll be alright soon, I know I will)