Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Sometimes, under dire consequences, people are just forced to lie, with the intention of mitigating what might happen when the truth is told, even when they know it's wrong.
I have learnt something, it's really hard to be honest, when you know honesty would just hurt people. I'm not purporting lying. It's just that, I've become this compulsive liar in order to keep these 2 people in my life. Yes, I've heard of the say that "One can't have the best of both worlds." But I guess I'm really just this selfish prick who disregards the feeling of both parties, thinking that I can maintain the relationship with both of them through lies (Note: I'm not 2 timing for your info)
水火互不相容，这是自然界的规律。火势太猛，它就会将水给烧干。水势太强，火就会被扑灭。我选择逆流而行，因而遭到了惩罚，过程中不仅伤害到了自己，更伤害到了你们两个。由始至终，我从未有意图伤害过任何人，尽量地是用谎言来遮盖，来维系。
但纸是包不住火的，真像无论如何都回被揭发。现在火已经将纸焚为灰烬，很快就会烧到我这里来。但我不会退缩，因为祸是我自己闯的，而我将会自己去面对它，无论火会将我灼得如何地上，我都不会哼一声。我会自己承受这一切。再也不希望会牵连到任何人。
而在水火之间，我也将作出我的抉择。
Sorry to all my friends who have been worrying about me ever since I have moved out, sorry for bothering you people with my problems, especially to YH and YQ. Thanks for the help you guys have given. Sorry to YH for imposing on you, not taking things for granted and I hope that you are not thinking this way too. Thanks for ling ling for accompanying during some of the first few days too :)
There are some people who I would like express my apologies to too. But due to some reason, I can't do it up here.... So I guess, I will have to wait till everything blow over in the meantime.
Lastly, I would like to apologize to the 2 people. Sorry for creating this mess between you both. Sorry for hurting and stressing either of you. I sincerely didn't want this to happen. I admit I did expect such an ending, hence I've been doing what I can to prevent it. But it seems I didn't really do a good job, neither did I adopt the proper method... Now I can only regret what I have done, and bear the consequences in silence.
*Prayers*
Hope that I will be able to get through whatever which is gonna be spurn on me.
|Shi Hao| 10:33 AM|
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