Just realised it has been more than 2 weeks since i have last posted anything here. Damn, I gotta spend a teeny weeny more effort in maintaining this little personal space of mine. Anyway, gotta change the music a little. As usual, the music is always a reflection of my current state of mine. And who else does a better job than CELINE!! :)

I Got Nothing Left

Anybody ever tell you that you're not home
Hollow shell of a man without a soul
Anyone ever felt your warmth cause you're always cold
Only thing that makes sense is letting go

Anybody ever tell you that you've got nerve
Treating my love like just another word
Tired of giving love to you that you don't deserve
So this is my way of saying it's over

Cause I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I gave you my best and you treated it worthless
So I got nothing left

Anybody ever tell you that you're gonna learn
Trust and respect are two things you must earn
When it came to loving me you just weren't concerned
You never gave a damn so I guess it's my turn

Cause I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I gave you my best and you treated it worthless
So I got nothing left

So done with you
Maybe, we're through
So done with you

Cause I've got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I gave you my best and you treated it worthless
So I got nothing left

So done with you
Maybe, we're through
So done with you

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Got my eyes flooded again today over some long time issues that effectively demonstrated my blindness and stupidity. Things which I have done at the expense at lots of other stuff. Does that mean that I regret what I have did? Not necesarrily. Or maybe I am just trying really hard to convince myself that my decision is still right, no matter how wrong the outcome was. 我到底，在想什么呢? Keep asking myself, hoping that I would be able to answer myself. But I just can't... other than running away from the question, basically I am left with nothing else to do. Like what Barbra Streisand would say 'And yet letting a grown up's pride, hide all the need inside.'

Really dun know what I am doing right now. Since school started, other than prepping for my language tests, I have not touch a single set of any of the notes that I have been given. I am not sure what I'm doing either, I don't know what I really want to do either. I am just having this suicidal thought of quitting school every now and then. Nope, it's not due to stress. It's more of the feeling that 'Hey, I shouldn't be doing all these crap. I should be doing something else. Something else!' I don't even wish to say what this something else is. I do know what this something else is. But I feel kinda embarrassed saying what I really wanna do, probably due to social stigma. Probably because I think no one would ever agree to what I really wanna do. Or probably, just because I am just a bloody big coward who doesn't dare to do what I feel like doing.

Think i shouldn't call this space "I love my oven". I should just call this "I love being a big drama shit" -_-

I feel like baking something again :(

真的好难受。。。也不知该向谁诉。。。惟有让心自然慢慢地去安抚自己，把所有的问题都给消化掉。望它们都能从此消失。好让我快乐点，好让嘴角的上扬出于此、而非义务。